“For I have received of the Lord that which also I delivered unto you, That the Lord Jesus the same night in which he was betrayed took bread: And when he had given thanks, he brake it, and said, Take, eat: this is my body, which is broken for you: this do in remembrance of me.” – 1 Corinthians 11:23-24
I once endured a great depth of pain and affliction for someone that I loved trying to help them and save them from their own bad decisions. Years later while in conversation a remembrance of this situation came up and to my great sorrow they did not remember it. They did not even truly believe that it happened and therefor did not appreciate the depths of my sacrifice for them. I wanted no apology, they did not need to make amends, I just wanted them to acknowledge what I had endured for them and appreciate it and it broke my heart all over again when it didn’t happen.
Yet it was in this moment that the Lord showed me the depths of healing that the simple act of taking communion brings to Him, when we truly remember what He did and appreciate it. However, it also showed me the sorrow that it can bring when we take it unworthily, in “unbelief”.
Do we really believe what He endured for us? Not only the physical brokenness but but His broken heart over us. How He gave His all to show us His love for us while we played the harlot with an unworthy lover right before Him and yet even while His heart was breaking as He had to endure witnessing this, He still poured out His blood for us. Do we really remember His suffering? Because I think if we did, then we would never again be tempted to cheat on Him with sin, to return to that other lover, in fact it would cause us to hate it for what it did to Him. To repent of it and beg for forgiveness. To love on Him daily and appreciate Him for what He did. This is the power of communion, of truly remembering.
As I broke the bread I took time to remember His brokenness and feel it. Not just a broken body and the things that He did, but His broken heart over what He witnessed while being despised and rejected by the ones He did it for. His broken heart over our rejection of Him for our other lovers, whatever pleased the flesh, whatever the wicked one suggested in our ear. Yet oh how Jesus still poured out His blood, suffered, and died to save us from those other lovers bent only on destroying us and hurting Him through us, even while we were yet still with them. In remembering this we will come to know the depths of a true communion.
“But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” – Romans 5:8
Breaking the break I remember His broken heart over all of this and I remorsed over it, I repented and thanked Him for it. Then I took the cup, the blood, the forgiveness. The price He paid for my redemption, and I realized the order of communion was with intent. First the bread then the wine, the body then the blood, repentance then forgiveness, remorse then redemption from it, conviction then conversion, remembrance then love. The body, then the blood.
“We love him, because he first loved us.” – 1 John 4:19
“For I am jealous over you with godly jealousy: for I have espoused you to one husband (Christ), that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ.” – 2 Corinthians 11:2